Thursday, May 19, 2011

Megamind vs Malema

Laptop dusted in sad neglect on a chair in the lounge, its screen dotted with sticky toddler fingerprints. Why? I'm just too busy: mothering, playing, handcrafting toys from scrap fabrics and mother-of-pearl buttons circa 1890 - 1950 who are supposed to be Megamind and Ben10, making a hopefully exhibit-worthy body of art, tidying up, and gardening: weeding, gingerly avoiding spiders, throwing obese/constantly gorging caterpillars over the wall, nurturing my succulents and their cuttings with obsessive love, mourning the death-by-negligence of my rare 'Serissa foetida'/'thousand stars' 4 year old bonsai, and carefully tending to my baby stinkwood bonsai in green-fingered repentance! (As it is, I'm typing this on my Blackberry at Club Duvet while Layla sleeps next to me!)
Though my heart hungers to write for this country of ours, I just can't seem to find the time. At least I get to talk about it a LOT - and get pro-expatriates thinking, and encourage repatriates or potential repatriates in the return home. But still... I just feel like it's not enough.
Speaking of pro-SA activism, an expat friend of mine just messaged me to ask if I still have Julius Malema's cellphone number. My first reaction was humiliated hurt. Because I failed miserably - letting many fellow patriots down, and delighting many skeptics. Or - DID I fail?
Here follows the messaged chat:
D: ‎​Do you have Malema's cell number still?
Me: ‎​1. It turned out to be a really sh*tty idea.
‎​2. But: it sparked the most amazing healing and transformational debate after my story was published in various newspapers and news blogs both in SA and the UK.
3. It got thousands of South Africans thinking after my interviews were aired on the headline news bulletins on Cape Talk, Radio 2000, Highveld Stereo and Kfm.
‎​4. I made some very special friends.
5. I facilitated some fiery confrontations which started in pain, woundedness, mistrust and disappointedness - and which ended in phenomenal transformation and relational healing.

Sometimes we have to risk looking foolishly, madly, idiotically idealistic to achieve a deeper-lying victory than the first, superficial thrust of our mission.
(Why did I 'fail'? Because I came home. And coming home consumed me entirely: my time, my love, my energy, my mind, my creativity. Being there for my little daughter was critically more important for me than nurturing my revolution of patriotic, open-minded, transforming love. I had to put my ego aside as I chose to fail so I could win. Ah - I'm a saint, aren't I? *wry eyebrow raising*)
And so, with Blackberry hand-cramp setting in, it is time to say adios till my next rare and random pocket of free time.

Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!